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Chick-fil-A, Tolerance and You

Tolerance (adj.): a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

In case you’ve been living under a news blackout rock, let me fill you in on the Great Chicken Flap. Chick-fil-A, a family-owned fast food chain headquartered in Atlanta, inspired a vigorous wave of protests due to its opposition to gay marriage rights and financial support of pro-hetero marriage groups.

Supporters of same sex marriage – including the mayor of the city of Boston – howled in protest after the company’s president told a Christian news organization that Chick-fil-A supported the “biblical definition of the family unit.” Those who oppose same sex marriage responded by flooding restaurant locations with long lines and appreciation days.

As regular readers know, I’m . If you’re gay and you want to get married, that’s just fine with me. I think our society should support loving, committed relationships, regardless of sexual orientation. I think that “pray away the gay” counseling is insulting and silly. And we have way bigger things to worry about as a nation than whether or not Elizabeth and Amy can join in state-sanctioned matrimony.

Nevertheless, real “tolerance” comes in many forms. And I can’t help but notice that people who claim to love tolerance are tolerant only of those people who agree with their own views.

You’re pro-gay-marriage? Great, join our kiss-in! You’re an evangelical Christian? Go eat a processed-chicken sandwich and have a heart attack, you evil, hate-mongering bigot!

The people on both sides of this debate are unlikely to change their views anytime soon. But I suggest that the best way to encourage tolerance among those who oppose your view is by demonstrating tolerance yourself.

Let’s keep in mind that organized religion and faith in God – whomever you believe Him to be – has been around for thousands of years. Faith has provided the backbone of existence for generations of families in our nation and beyond.

Faith is patient. It is slow to accept change. Its bureaucracy does not respond easily to even abhorrent allegations – as a Catholic, I can tell you that firsthand. The fact of the matter is, even if same sex marriage supporters put Chick-fil-A out of business, that won’t alter a religious conservative’s viewpoint – in fact, it may result in deeper entrenchment and bitterness.

Also, let’s not forget, civil rights are for everyone, not just social liberals! The Cathy family has every right to send money to political groups that support their beliefs. S. Truett Cathy, the company’s founder, was a deeply religious man. Dan Cathy, his son, has always expressed his opposition to same sex marriage. This isn’t even the first time that same sex marriage supporters have demonstrated against Chick-fil-A.

If you support same sex marriage and it bothers you that Chick-fil-A sends some of its profits to pro-hetero groups, send a message with your dollars and eat elsewhere. Alternatively, demonstrate peace and love by taking the venom out of your actions. Spewing socially liberal bigotry via grandstanding letters, vandalism and hate-filled Facebook posts only demonstrates your own intolerance for religious freedom, and mobilizes those who oppose you into action.

But most importantly, remember that the Cathy family is expressing its Constitutional rights, as you are expressing yours. 

Pat Gharet August 13, 2012 at 12:51 am
That seems to be the main argument of those who wish to keep others from sharing the freedoms they enjoy. I've been married for 40 years, and I can't for the life of me see how allowing gays to marry could possibly weaken my relationship with my spouse.
Issy August 13, 2012 at 12:54 am
Never said he was a bigot only what he said was bigoted and that he supports bigoted organisations that violate peoples 14th amendment rights.
The fact is Cathy wants to impose his religious views on our society in direct opposition to Separation of Church and State.
Mike August 13, 2012 at 01:02 am
Typically....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5ZlUDbBUyQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Mike August 13, 2012 at 01:04 am
@issy. You mean like Obama imposing the mandatory use of contraception and abortion services on religious institutions violating their 1st Amendment rights.
therealtruth August 13, 2012 at 01:15 am
everyone missed the meaning of the post
Issy August 13, 2012 at 01:18 am
Mike, Obama is doing no such thing. In fact it is the exact opposite, he is prevent religious organisations from imposing their values on their female employees as part of the so called 'war on women'
Obama has also proposed a solution of having insurance companies directly providing services,which they are happy to do as it keeps their costs down, But of course these religious organisations are not happy unless they can control women's private lives.
Mike August 13, 2012 at 01:26 am
@issy. Nonsense. He shuffled the same deck. Every insurance company must pay for contraception. How does a religious organization get around that. They don't. Your own so called logic defeats your argument. You indicate he (Obama) "prevents" religious organizations from following their consciences in deciding that contraceptive services violate the main tenents of their faith. Prevent means the government is impeding the religious rights of certain citizens.
Issy August 13, 2012 at 01:36 am
Your religious rights to not allow you to impose your religion on others. FYI use of contraception save insurance companies money.
Mike August 13, 2012 at 01:58 am
Issy-The fact that someone with religious convictions does not want to pay for another person's abortions through taking chemicals or for their surgical mutilations in no way amounts to an imposition of beliefs.  It surprises me that some of these opponents of religious liberty and the 1st Amendment are so thick as not to have grasped this point yet.
tom kelty August 13, 2012 at 02:50 am
Whether you accept their right or not... Cathy has a right to his beliefs. If you don't like them don't eat there. What I respect more then anything is for the CEO of a company to say what may not be PC because he believes a certain way rather then BS everyone and so it doesn't hurt the almighty dollar coming in. If you disagree with him because of what YOU believe is right, then how can you be mad at him for BELIEVING what HE BELIEVES? Just because he doesn't share you view? That doesnt seem very tolerant .
tom kelty August 13, 2012 at 02:54 am
BTW, how ever immoral or disgusting I may think it is to be gay, I still think it is fair if you are allowed the same "rights" such as health care, seeing your loved one and being able to have them treated as a married persons' spouse is. So you see it is possible for me to have my beliefs and fight for your "rights" too. that is tolerance. but I must say the more I am bothered by HAVING to RESPECT or HEAR about it continually the more I get to the point where I start to back off my tolerance.
Issy August 13, 2012 at 09:26 am
Mike, it is not that we do not grasp it, it is that we see it for what it is, an attempt to control the lives of others.
It is ridiculous to say you do not want to pay for abortions while also trying to deny women access to birth control.
Issy August 13, 2012 at 09:34 am
Tom you are confusing tolerance with acceptance.
It is not that he does not share my views, it is that he is promoting hate and harm and in the case of Uganda death to others.
Mike August 13, 2012 at 11:49 am
Issy-your statement clearly indicates you don't grasp it. It is a matter of religious freedom, it's a matter of this Administration seeking to strip the 1st Amendment. In fact, already the first legal ruling was made and a US District Judge ruled that "the Federal Government’s interests are countered, and indeed, outweighed, by the public interest in the free exercise of religion.” Further, the majority of Americans are opposed to the HHS msndate. You claim woman need contraception as a Constitutional right. But is it really fair to say that a person’s rights are inhibited if someone else does not buy something for her? Isn’t it much more accurate to claim that a person’s rights are inhibited when she is threatened with fines and imprisonment if she does not take a certain action that she finds morally objectionable?
Carrie Salafia August 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Perhaps part of the problem is that tolerance is not an adjective (a describer). It is a noun. Different beast
tol·er·ance noun 1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry. 2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own. 3. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint. 4. the act or capacity of enduring; endurance: My tolerance of noise is limited. 5. Medicine/Medical, Immunology . a. the power of enduring or resisting the action of a drug, poison, etc.: a tolerance to antibiotics. b. the lack of or low levels of immune response to transplanted tissue or other foreign substance that is normally immunogenic.
Pat Gharet August 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm
http://caloriecount.about.com/chick-fil-nutrition-m38
Mike August 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm
I believe the issue is not the use of the word tolerance, but it's confusion with the word acceptance:
ac·cept·ance   [ak-sep-tuhns] , noun 1. the act of taking or receiving something offered. 2. favorable reception; approval; favor. 3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory. 4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable. 5. acceptation ( def. 1 ) .
realworld August 13, 2012 at 12:22 pm
You people have nothing better to do. How about you all find and job or go to work.
Aidan August 13, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Monday morning blahs, eh?
Jack Moolick August 13, 2012 at 01:05 pm
We live in a great country where we all have choices and I respect the choices others make would never tell someone that their lunch was disgusting even though certain foods are less appealing to me.
Bruce Cohen August 13, 2012 at 01:31 pm
Lisa, This is probably the most intelligent piece on this "waste of time" controversy.
I am a straignt male and I whole heartedly support "same-sex" marriages. Unfortunately, there appears to be a great many people, who, for whatever reason. don't. Are they wrong? Yes and no. Their beliefs are as valid as mine. I many not aggree with them, but they do have have right to feel that way. It's only when they try to shove those beliefs down other people's throats, that piss me off. let's make a deal, I'll respect your right to an opinion, but allow me the same courtesy. As I don't believe in a God, along with a lot of people, stop using that tired argument that "he" is against this or any other action or life style you find objectionable. If you really disagree with Chic-fil-A's policy, simp;yy don't eat there. And as I've never seen one in Rockland, that point becomes moot. Lisa's correct on all points. There are a whole lot more important America faces than whether Joe and Jim get married or Alice really needs to get an abortion. These are their rights and not your's to belittle or condemn. Think about how much time and effort you've spent discussing these issues and what positive things you could have accomplished instead of spouting these same old tired arguments, which really haven't done anything, except polarize us more.
WGMom August 13, 2012 at 01:55 pm
It's not gay marriage, it's just marriage. Gay people don't say, I'm going to gay walk my dog, or gay send my mother a birthday card.
realworld August 13, 2012 at 04:30 pm
It's not the food that's disgusting
JJ August 13, 2012 at 06:19 pm
Aidan...............100% correct; everyone is tolerant AS LONG as you support their views.
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. This story is getting old; DON'T EAT THE CHICKEN IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THE GUY PERIOD.
Francis T McVetty August 14, 2012 at 10:52 pm
After reading most of the post here it seems that most of you have missed the point. The rights of the Cathy family were being threatened by the GOVERNMENT. Since when does the mayor of a city threaten a business or individual. The mayors said that they would NOT issue permits to the business because of HIS views on gay marriage. Who died and made Ron Emanuel the king? No where has there been any complaints filed about Chic-fil-A's labor practices. None! He has, to my knowledge not refused to serve a gay person or employee a gay person.
What you want to do in your private life is NO concern to me EXCEPT if you want me to validate your actions. I don't really want to know about it either. Stop sticking in our faces!!! Marriage is between a male and a female.
Susan Troop August 14, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Jack, you're so right. I can't stand egg salad, but I'd never tell someone it's disgusting. They're enjoyment of egg salad would have no effect on my enjoyment of whatever lunch I choose to have. Personally, I'd have the grilled chicken sandwich.
Christina A. August 15, 2012 at 03:41 pm
My Color guard captain is gay. We haven't finished high school yet, but I'd love to see him happy one day, someday without all this hate. Funny thing is, I was opposed to same-sex marriage until I found out my Captain was gay. My parents had me believing being gay was wrong since I was little. But if someone you love in your life is gay, you just want to see them happy..
Getting to the post, if you own a business chain, why would you make a statement like that? That's idiotic, it's like you purposely want to lose customers. And I completely agree with @WGMom post..
Watchdog August 15, 2012 at 03:56 pm
IT is unfortunate that you have picked up on some of the wrongful misleading slang to make your case. The owner believes that marriage is between a man and woman. It that HATE? He has provided jobs for many Gays. His statements actually increased business. Tolerance for the views of others is really what you should be practicing since if you refuse to purchase anything from everyone who believes in Traditional Marriage, your choices in life will be severely limited.
Francis T McVetty August 15, 2012 at 04:38 pm
Mr Kathy was asked a question and he answered it honestly. It seems that the GAY community certainly isn't feeling that love, is it? How tolerant of them!!!
Mike August 16, 2012 at 02:31 am
Ironic how Mr. Coe and other LGBT supporters have written how intolerant those who have opposing viewpoints have been. Yet, this guy, an LGBT volunteer comits this atrocious act. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57493780/cops-lgbt-volunteer-shoots-conservative-groups-guard/

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Laurie MacAllister June 18, 2013 at 09:20 pm
Ginger, Moe and Frankie. I am privilaged to honor you and Gabby with this funraiser. I would alsoRead More like to thank my family who drive 370 miles to help me and show their love for you. So many volunteers that help. Thank you Tina, Ray and Melissa for holding down the tshirt and bookbag table. Thank you to mom and dad for holding down the refreshment table and to Julie, Carley and Jason for working the raffle table. Also to Gabby for the wonderful tattoos and for Missy for teaching our children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. I would also like to thank Al for bringing the firetruck and all the enjoyment it brought the little ones. Now to all that came and donated, I thank you. Without you all there would be no "WALK". Love you all, Peace and Love, Laurie.
Laurie MacAllister June 18, 2013 at 09:23 pm
One more person, my husband Rusty, you are my glue that holds me together. Thank you for putting upRead More with me through all my craziness. Love you.
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Sorry Pete from Memorable Moments. You know how much you are appreciated for the wonderful picturesRead More that you took the day of the "walk" words cannot describe how I appreciate you donating your time. Thank you.
PC Lover June 15, 2013 at 09:04 am
Cathy, Westmed should refer to you as "Valued Customer". No person can serve two masters.Read More Every Doctor must ask themself, "Am I serving my patients or am I serving the insurance companies? Because those two are in direct financial conflict with each other. Seven minute maximum "face time" sort of answers that question, doesn't it? Today, medicine is a business...once you accept that fact you will begin to have the proper mind set to better navigate the system as a customer, not as a patient. There are exceptions.
PC Lover June 15, 2013 at 09:06 am
Craig, I may be wrong but I doubt the average doctor at Westmed is making that much money. Do youRead More have a reference for that estimate or just wishful thinking?
PC Lover June 15, 2013 at 09:13 am
Cathy..I agree wholeheartedly. Charging for parking is the epitome of arrogance. As the insuranceRead More companies squeeze Westmed they are trying to pass their overhead onto us, when what they should be doing is dropping the underpaying plans and letting the world know which insurance companies they can no longer accept due to the insurance company's corporate greed. Maybe then the reimbursement will improve. I hope they choke on it.
Craig Noor June 14, 2013 at 05:31 pm
The new picture is decent ... only about 15 percent Byram.
Silvio V. Buccieri June 14, 2013 at 06:29 pm
IF you like roof tops, then this is picture you should keep posted.
FJT June 17, 2013 at 08:43 am
The photo I was referring to was the one that showed the Byram River not the one that's up thereRead More now. The village's own website has some nice photos of Port Chester. Maybe the Patch could ask to borrow one of those, or take their own photo using the same vantage point.
Craig Noor June 13, 2013 at 05:33 pm
ps oh yeah, it's stand by, not standby
Craig Noor June 14, 2013 at 07:40 am
Not surprisingly, the Greenwich patch photo is of a dumpster and the rye patch photo is ofRead More people's,owing crack. Or not pathetic!
Aidan June 14, 2013 at 11:32 am
Keep at it, Katie. It's a small potatoes thing. You'll get it straight, I'm sure. Thanks for theRead More energy.
Sandra Casey June 11, 2013 at 12:37 pm
This photo is still not appropriate. Sorry, but it is more of Byram than of Port Chester. PleaseRead More choose a photo in Port Chester.
Craig Noor June 11, 2013 at 05:36 pm
Yep the left half is Byram ... As I mentioned, if you stood in Byram you could take a picture thatRead More was all Port Chester ...
Bea Conetta June 12, 2013 at 10:07 am
This picture is truly ridiculous, because it is not Port Chester. It is a photo of Byram and aRead More parking lot. As for Patch's new format, I dislike it intensely. Go back to the old format that was more interesting and not so dull. It was good to see the comments of residents and be able to give your own opinion. It wasn't broken, so why change it? I am still waiting to get some help on how to get to my past comments. Can anyone help me with that problem that arose with the new format?
niecey June 10, 2013 at 08:02 am
I agree. It is awful. Go back to old design. I hardly go to the website anymore
Gus garcia June 11, 2013 at 10:26 am
Please! The "OLD "PATCH WAS SO MUCH EASIER TO NAVIGATE!!!!! I USED TO READ IT EVERYDAY! !!Read More NOW I JUST HATE To OPEN it:(
Aidan June 11, 2013 at 03:54 pm
I visit a lot less nowadays.
Gus garcia June 11, 2013 at 10:33 am
This reminds me what " COCA-COLA" DID DECADES AGO! . THEY CAME OUT WITH A DIFFERENT"Read More COKE" NEW! IMPROVED! ETC.ETC. FORMULA. PEOPLE HATED IT THE FIRST DAY IT WENT TO THE SHELVES! LATER ON THEY WENT BACK TO THE ORIGINAL !!! ..... IF IT AINT BROKEN!....
Aidan June 14, 2013 at 11:53 am
Yeah. It's lousy. Admit it and fix it.
Liz Giegerich (Editor) June 6, 2013 at 03:30 pm
Hi Silvio, Thanks for offering. We have a photo to be used. Just waiting for it to be changed by ourRead More tech team. Thank you.
Liz Giegerich (Editor) June 6, 2013 at 03:18 pm
HI everyone, I do not have the ability to change it myself right now. Patch is aware of the repeatedRead More requests for it to be changed. A new photograph will be put in place as soon as possible. Again, sorry for the delay and for the initial mistake that led to this photo being used. The photo that is supposed to be there is the one used on our facebook page right now.
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Feel free to send feedback about the site directly to AOL. Here is the link. Thanks!Read More http://feedback.aol.com/product/patch/?tid=446&r=http%3A%2F%2Fportchester.patch.com%2Fgroups%2Fopinion%2Fp%2Fplease-go-back-to-the-old-website-design
Craig Noor June 8, 2013 at 07:45 am
I sent my comment on the new pic to that email too and suggest others do too so it can be replacedRead More with a good picture
Linda Turturino June 6, 2013 at 02:08 pm
we as a community need to rally and support the efforts to right all the long past due wrongs thisRead More is a terrible situation and I for one will not rest until it is fixed and I will not take responsibility for wrongs made before my Grand Birth
FJT June 17, 2013 at 09:09 am
Sadly, comments that were posted here by Craig Noor and FJT have been removed -- along with anotherRead More commenter's invitation to share more about the issue at hand. Perhaps our comments were too negative in the eyes of certain people with more power than the average Port Chester property owner.
epp June 19, 2013 at 12:57 am
My neighborhood is riddled with irresponsible renters thanks to the money hungry dirt bag landlords.Read More More burden on the schools and village services and we pay for it every year. My property value went down another $17,000 this past year while taxes keep rising. Eighteen years here and the last seven years have not been very promising.
Liz Giegerich (Editor) June 5, 2013 at 10:36 am
I am so sorry about this. We will have it changed as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.
Anne Latella June 8, 2013 at 11:26 am
I believe the Port Chester High School is the most beautiful High School in Westchester and all ofRead More the surrounding states. Its architecture is incomparable. It should be representative of the village and its residents. Also you might consider the Veterans Monument on Westchester Ave or Lyons Park with the flowers in bloom. All historical and representative of the beauty of the village. Any one of these sites would make a beautiflul
Anne Latella June 8, 2013 at 11:28 am
Patch Picture & represent the village in a magnificent manner.
Craig Noor June 4, 2013 at 07:16 pm
And while I'm on the subject of ugly this redesign is still hideous. Nice inscrutable icon next toRead More my post - it adds nothing, but meanwhile you have removed the preview of people's comments that used to come up when you clicked on their name. And this light gray type is awful. And it doesn't make the ads more visible if that is what you were thinking
Craig Noor June 4, 2013 at 07:17 pm
Wow, hit a paragraph return and it posts your comment prematurely. Are two-paragraph comments tooRead More much sophistication for your audience, advertisers, or editors?
Anna June 4, 2013 at 09:05 pm
I personally like this image of Main Street...although I would agree it is a sloppy photograph andRead More is not framed well. Why pretend that Port Chester is something that it isn't? It's not Rye. And I don't know why you'd rather have an image of generic sailboats as a backdrop.